When you are faced with rejection, do you cringe or thrive? While it may seem that we are out of options when we try something and fail, there is almost a way to make your dreams a reality in the face of any adversary! Author and career coach Angela Marie Hutchinson has a fairly simple motto: dreams don’t happen, dreams are made. Rather than admit defeat, Angela herself made her dreams of making a movie a reality by pushing forward despite each “no”, “pass”, and negative thought that came her way! Using her 12-step approach, those dreams you keep hearing “no” on can finally be realized.
In Create Your Yes: When You Keep Hearing No, A 12-Step Strategy for Success Hutchinson outlines how to re-frame rejection in any situation and build the resilience needed to push through challenges in order to create success.
Create Your Yes Review
If you feel intimidated by self-help books, Create Your Yes is the perfect book to get you started. It’s an easy read, with advice based on Hutchinson’s own career success in the entertainment industry. The 143 page book starts with advice on redirecting no’s and dealing with rejection. “When you repeatedly hear no, it can paralyze or propel you”. Creating your own yes means creating something that would not naturally evolve.
Hutchinson talks about the importance of periphery opportunities- those that are outside of our main line of vision. Success often comes from detecting motion in our peripheral vision, while still maintaining focus on our end goal. After a failure, tap into your peripheral vision to find opportunities you otherwise might miss.
Inchstones for Continual Progression
Another important point of the book is knowing the difference between milestones and inchstones. Inchstones are daily wins while milestones are big wins. Focusing only on milestones can be overwhelming but by focusing on inchstones (daily and weekly actions that you can definitely accomplish), you’ll continue to progress. And progression is the key to success.
Why the No’s?
When determining how to respond to no’s, it’s important to know the reason behind the no. Some common reasons for no’s include bad timing, lack of clarity, requires in-depth review, or too busy to thoroughly consider. Make saying yes easier, if possible, by refining your inquiry or proposing a seed of an idea.
According to Hutchinson, the best type of mentors are those who become sponsors. While mentors in your field can be useful, think outside the box when finding advocates. Bloggers, publicists, and journalists make great mentors because they stay on top of news and industry trends. Mentors can be younger than you, live in a different area and work in a different industry. Be open-minded when searching for mentors.
Stamina and Speed
Stamina and speed are both important to achieving your goals, but which one is most important depends upon the situation. For example, writing a 500 word article requires speed, whereas creating a business plan from scratch requires stamina. You must be able to assess a situation and adjust your focus accordingly.
Goals Built on ICE
Goals must be built on a foundation of Integrity, Creativity and Enthusiasm. Ice is that it is less dense than water, allowing it to float rather than sink. If you build your dreams on a foundation of ICE, you will not drown in negative emotions.
The Art of Waiting – Open the Door
Patience is great in many situations, but sometimes waiting patiently for someone else to open a door can be a form of self-imposed rejection. Instead, be proactive in opening your own doors if opportunities and people don’t find you. There are often opportunities behind closed doors that appear to be locked. “Waiting on a yes is counterproductive when your yes is waiting on you to create it.”
Paying Yes Forward
Your chances of success increase when you help others achieve their goals. When you receive a yes, pay it forward in the area where you want to thrive. Creative altruism brings about unexpected opportunities. The recipient of your paid-forward yes may be your greatest advocate.
After the Breakthrough
“Success is not a final destination.” It’s important to prepare for your breakthrough and beyond. Know what you’ll need to do once you achieve a goal so that your success can continue. Maybe you need a financial planner or an attorney. Learn how to maintain relationships with investors and business partners.
The final chapter talks about the importance of taking action without overthinking. Try alternating routines, such as taking a different route to work or switching up your workout schedule. “Expand beyond what you know and challenge the norm”. Trust your instincts and pay attention to your surroundings. You may find opportunities in unconventional places.
Creating Your Yes offers advice that differs from many self-help and career books. It takes a pro-active stance on success with easy to follow advice that may be applied in any industry or in one’s personal life. Hutchinson provides anecdotes from her own life to back up her points. For those who aren’t keen on reading, some of the sub-sections are only a couple of pages and the chapters are quite short. If you’re in search of a one-day read that doesn’t dive too deep into specifics this book is a good choice.
About the Author:
ANGELA MARIE HUTCHINSON works as a career coach, public speaker, and business consultant, where her clients call her Dream Builder. She has been recognized as a media and arts trailblazer by the U.S. Congress, Los Angeles mayor, and Los Angeles city council.
With more than fifteen years of experience in the entertainment industry, Hutchinson has worked for MGM, Warner Bros. Television, and the Grammys. She is a filmmaker and TEDx speaker of “Create Your Own Yes, When You Keep Hearing No.” Angela earned her BSE in industrial operations engineering from the University of Michigan. For nearly a decade, she has produced a diverse portfolio with her media company, BiH Entertainment.